Красный Элвис

Sergeĭ Zhadan odin iz nemnogikh ukhvatil nashu ėpokhu, tochno tigra za khvost, uvidel smeshnoe v ee pechali͡akh i tragichnoe v ee radosti͡akh, opisal ee unikalʹnostʹ.<br>'Vremi͡a dvigaetsi͡a u tebi͡a pod kozheĭ, - govorit Zhadan, - i esli u tebi͡a tonkai͡a kozha, ty dazhe mozheshʹ ego uvidetʹ'.<br><br>I vot menedzhery sobirai͡utsi͡a posle ti͡azhelogo rabochego dni͡a v bare, zhirnye, ti͡azhelye i malopodvizhnye menedzhery srednego zvena, tolkutsi͡a v bare, kak ti͡uleni, bʹi͡ut lastami i izdai͡ut rezkie pronzitelʹnye zvuki, perekrikivai͡ut muzykalʹnye avtomaty, topchutsi͡a vozle karaoke, mchatsi͡a, shlepai͡a po polu svoimi lastami, v sortir.<br>Kho-kho, govori͡at drug drugu, kak khorosho, chto vse my zdesʹ segodni͡a sobralisʹ, my - menedzhery srednego zvena, nam vsegda estʹ o chem pogovoritʹ posle napri͡azhennogo rabochego dni͡a, davaĭte, druzʹi͡a, - govori͡at drug drugu, - o chem pogovorim segodni͡a?<br>O regbi ili o babakh?<br>V zadnit͡su regbi, protestui͡ushche mashet lastami chastʹ menedzherov.<br>Davaĭte o babakh! Da-da, ozhivli͡ai͡utsi͡a ostalʹnye menedzhery, davaĭte, davaĭte.<br>I dazhe te, kto topchetsi͡a vozle karaoke, ozhivli͡ai͡utsi͡a.<br>I dazhe te, chto otvalili v sortir, mchatsi͡a nazad, stucha lastami po polu.<br>Nu chto, govorim o babakh? - eshche raz peresprashivaet papa-ti͡ulenʹ.<br>Da-da, eshche raz, dvazhdy za korotkoe vremi͡a, ozhivli͡ai͡utsi͡a menedzhery.<br>I togda papa-ti͡ulenʹ govorit im tak: Ĭo, - govorit on, - ĭo, druzʹi͡a, chto vy mne govorite, kakie baby? - govorit on, - o chem rechʹ, i͡a znai͡u o babakh vse, i i͡a mogu vam rasskazatʹ.<br>Potomu chto i͡a znai͡u o babakh vse.

Sergey Zhadan is one of the few who grasped our era like a tiger by the tail, saw the funny in its sorrows and the tragic in its joys, described its uniqueness.
"Time moves under your skin," says Zhadan, "and if you have thin skin, you can even see it."

And now managers gather after a hard day at the bar, fat, heavy and sedentary middle managers, jostle in the bar like seals, beat with flippers and make sharp piercing sounds, shout over jukeboxes, trample near karaoke, rush, slapping the floor with their flippers, to the toilet.
Ho-ho, they say to each other how good it is that we are all gathered here today, we are middle managers, we always have something to talk about after a busy day, come on, friends, they say to each other, what will we talk about today?
About rugby or about women?
In the ass of rugby, some managers wave their flippers in protest.
Let's talk about women! Yes, yes, the rest of the managers are reviving, come on, come on.
And even those who are hovering near karaoke are enlivened.
And even those who have fallen off to the toilet rush back, banging their flippers on the floor.
Well, are we talking about women? — Dad the seal asks again.
Yes, yes, once again, twice in a short time, managers are revived.
And then Papa Seal tells them so: Yo," he says, "yo, friends, what are you telling me, what women? — he says, - what are you talking about, I know everything about women, and I can tell you.
Because I know everything about women.