Екатерина Великая. Роковая любовь императрицы

Ekaterina pytalasʹ poni͡atʹ, chto ne tak, pochemu ona sama ne zhelaet dolʹshe zaderzhivatʹ ėtogo muzhchinu? Razli͡ubila? Net, li͡ubila po-prezhnemu, no vdrug nachala ponimatʹ, chto on slovno ti͡azhelyĭ gruz u nee na nogakh, s nim ne vyplytʹ. I ti͡anul ėtot gruz, kak ni stranno, ne prosto vniz, a imenno v storonu Petra. To, ot chego ona stolʹko let pytalasʹ uĭti, distant͡sirovatʹsi͡a, podcherknuto otkazatʹsi͡a, teperʹ vynuzhdena byla priznavatʹ svoim. No vnutri ros protest: nu pochemu ona dolzhna pri͡atatʹsi͡a vmesto togo, chtoby blistatʹ?

Ekaterina was trying to figure out what was wrong, why she herself did not want to detain this man any longer? Fell out of love? No, she still loved him, but suddenly she began to realize that he was like a heavy weight on her feet, she couldn't swim out with him. And strangely enough, this load was pulling not just down, but in the direction of Peter. What she had been trying to get away from, distance herself from, and pointedly abandon for so many years, she was now forced to recognize as her own. But a protest grew inside: why should she hide instead of shine?