Хрен с Горы

Smertʹ - vovse ne konet͡s. Vot tolʹko kuda i͡a popal, sovershenno neponi͡atno. Li͡udi, konechno, kak li͡udi, razve chto kozha temnee, chem u meni͡a, da nosi͡at nabedrennye povi͡azki vmesto shtanov. I status moĭ ne tak uzh i plokh - k mestnomu "srednemu klassu" otnesti meni͡a mozhno. Pravda, prini͡ali za kogo-to drugogo. I voobshche nazvali, esli perevesti moë teperʹ imi͡a, Khrenom s Gory. A moi znanii͡a i umenii͡a pochti ne nakhodi͡at primenenii͡a, skoree uzh u mestnykh uchusʹ, chem dikareĭ prosveshchai͡u. No nichego, vse trudnosti preodoleem, vydernem papuasov iz kamennovekovogo prozi͡abanii͡a i povedëm ikh v budushchee.

Death is not the end at all. That's just where I got to, it's completely unclear. People, of course, are like people, except that their skin is darker than mine, and they wear loincloths instead of trousers. And my status is not so bad — I can be attributed to the local "middle class". However, they were mistaken for someone else. And in general, if you translate my name now, they called me a Horseradish from the Mountain. And my knowledge and skills are almost not used, I'm learning from the locals rather than enlightening savages. But never mind, we will overcome all the difficulties, pull the Papuans out of their stone-age stagnation and lead them into the future.