Чайковский. История одинокой жизни

Nina Berberova (1901–1993) — prozaik, poet, “pervaia parijskaia dama russkoi literaturie”, avtor sensacionnoi avtobiografii “Kursiv moi” (1969). V 1930-h Berberova pishet belletrizovannuu biografiu Petra Ilicha Chaikovskogo. Ona sozdaet portret jivogo cheloveka, portret bez maski, no sohraniaet takt i vernost faktam. Vechnaia chujestranka, ona rasskazievaet o russkom kompozitore tak, budto nikogda ne pokidala Rossii…“Muzieka slishkom silno deistvovala na Pera, osobenno kogda on "fantaziroval" na roiale. On krichal v bessonnicu: "O, eta muzieka, eta muzieka!"— Nichego ne slieshno, nikakoi muzieki net, — otvechala Fanni, prijimaia ego k sebe. — Ona u menia zdes, zdes! — krichal on, riedaia i hvataia sebia za golovu. — Ona ne daet mne pokoia. No skvoz eti detskie bessonnicie, skvoz trudnosti dnei na nego teper vse chashe nahodila kakaia-to gordelivaia radost, slovno on chto-to reshil pro sebia, chto-to iskal, dolgo, ochen dolgo — iskal i nashel, ozaril kakoi-to temniei ugol v sebe. On mog etim stranniem, zvuchniem iaziekom rasskazievat o sebe nakonec po-nastoiashemu — no glavnoe ne to, chtobie ego poniali, glavnoe — samomu vieskazatsia na nem”. Nina Berberova.

Nina Berberova (1901-1993) — novelist, poet, “the first Parisian lady of Russian literature", author of the sensational autobiography “My Italics" (1969). In the 1930s, Berberova wrote a fictionalized biography of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky. She creates a portrait of a living person, a portrait without a mask, but retains tact and fidelity to the facts. An eternal stranger, she talks about the Russian composer as if she had never left Russia...“Music had too much effect on Pierre, especially when he was "fantasizing" on the piano. He screamed in his insomnia: "Oh, this music, this music!"— I can't hear anything, there's no music," Fanny replied, hugging him to her. — I have it here, here! "Stop it!" he shouted, sobbing and clutching his head. "She's been bothering me. But through these childhood insomnia, through the difficulties of the days, a kind of proud joy came to him more and more often, as if he had decided something about himself, searched for something for a long, very long time, searched and found, illuminated some dark corner in himself. He could finally really talk about himself in this strange, sonorous language - but the main thing is not to be understood, the main thing is to speak it himself.” Nina Berberova.