Порогами века. Историко-биографические заметки. В 2 томах

Iz predislovii͡a:<br><br>"Zachem li͡udi berutsi͡a za pero? Chtoby ostavitʹ svoĭ sled v tom mire, otkuda pridetsi͡a ukhoditʹ? Togda - chto oni khoti͡at ostavitʹ gorodu i miru? Peripetii svoeĭ lichnoĭ zhizni? Nu, vstrechal i͡a v svoeĭ zhizni li͡ubovʹ i zlobu, dralsi͡a na duėli͡akh, sam ostavli͡al vozli͡ublennykh i meni͡a brosali, khrabrilsi͡a, trusil, obmanyvalsi͡a, slyshal, kak svisti͡at puli nad golovoĭ, znal voli͡u i nevoli͡u, stalkivalsi͡a s predatelʹstvom i s blagorodstvom - vrode estʹ, o chem krasivo rasskazatʹ!<br><br>No, zachem?<br><br>Kogda-to na doprosakh v KGB sledovatelʹ kak by nevznachaĭ stal slushatʹ pri mne zapisʹ populi͡arnoĭ togda pesni:<br><br>"Prizrachno vse v ėtom mire bushui͡ushchem.<br><br>Estʹ tolʹko mig - za nego i derzhisʹ!<br><br>Estʹ tolʹko mig mezhdu proshlym i budushchim.<br><br>Imenno on nazyvaetsi͡a zhiznʹ..."<br><br>Navernoe, chekistu khotelosʹ, chtoby i͡a makhnul na vse rukoĭ i, zabyv o druzʹi͡akh, zani͡alsi͡a svoim lichnym spaseniem. No, ne nauchili ego osobennosti͡am russkoĭ psikhologii, ne obʺi͡asnili, chto dli͡a cheloveka s obshchinnym soznaniem na miru i<br><br>smertʹ krasna! A esli uzh on reshit kogda-nibudʹ ogli͡anutʹsi͡a na prozhitui͡u zhiznʹ, to skoree zatem, chtoby uvidetʹ ne stolʹko samogo sebi͡a - krupinochku v obshchem potoke, a chtoby poni͡atʹ smysl proiskhodivshego i svoe v nem mesto...<br><br>Otkryv pervyĭ tom, chitatelʹ uvidit, chto rasskaz o nashem veke i͡a nachinai͡u s tekh vremen, kogda eshche ne rodilsi͡a. No, kak i li͡uboĭ chelovek, i͡a - otgolosok tekh let i sobytiĭ, kotorye sformirovali moi͡u stranu, a znachit, i meni͡a. Nam - moeĭ semʹe, druzʹi͡am i soratnikam, a potom i mne -vypalo bytʹ ochevidt͡sami, personazhami, zhertvami ili tvort͡sami sobytiĭ, meni͡avshikh traektorii͡u dvizhenii͡a Rossii. My byli chastʹi͡u dvizhenii͡a svoego naroda cherez krovavyĭ Vek obmana. A potom, na ruinakh izzhivsheĭ sebi͡a sovetskoĭ imperii, vzi͡alisʹ za stroitelʹstvo otkrytogo, demokraticheskogo gosudarstva.<br><br>No iskalechennoe nevoleĭ rossiĭskoe obshchestvo stolknulosʹ s ti͡agotami perekhodnogo perioda i popi͡atilosʹ nazad, stav zalozhnikom novogo totalitarnogo rezhima. Govori͡at, chto istorii͡a uchit lishʹ tomu, chto nichemu ne uchit. Mozhet bytʹ.<br><br>I, vse zhe, i͡a ostavli͡ai͡u svoe svidetelʹstvo o nashikh vremenakh s nadezhdoĭ na to, chto ėtot rasskaz eshche prigoditsi͡a... Punktir sobytiĭ, otmechennykh mnoĭ, - prostranstvo dli͡a osmyslenii͡a proĭdennykh nami dorog..."

From the preface:

"Why do people take up the pen? To leave your mark on the world you have to leave? Then what do they want to leave to the city and the world? The vicissitudes of your personal life? Well, I've met love and anger in my life, fought duels, left my lovers myself and was abandoned, braved, cowardly, deceived, heard bullets whistling over my head, knew will and captivity, faced betrayal and nobility – there seems to be something beautiful to tell!

But why?

Once, during interrogations in the KGB, an investigator casually began listening to a recording of a popular song in front of me.:

"Everything in this raging world is ghostly.

There is only a moment – hold on to it!

There is only a moment between the past and the future.

It is called life..."

Probably, the chekist wanted me to give up on everything and, forgetting about my friends, set about my personal salvation. But they did not teach him the peculiarities of Russian psychology, they did not explain that for a person with a communal consciousness in the world and

Death is red! And if he decides to look back on his life one day, it's more likely to see not so much himself as a speck in the general stream, but to understand the meaning of what was happening and his place in it...

Opening the first volume, the reader will see that I begin the story of our century from the time before I was born. But, like any other person, I am an echo of those years and events that shaped my country, and therefore me. We – my family, friends, and colleagues, and then myself – had to be eyewitnesses, characters, victims, or creators of events that changed the trajectory of Russia. We were part of the movement of our people through the bloody Age of deception. And then, on the ruins of the obsolete Soviet empire, they set about building an open, democratic state.

But the Russian society, crippled by captivity, faced the hardships of the transition period and backed away, becoming a hostage of the new totalitarian regime. They say that history only teaches that it teaches nothing. Maybe.

And yet, I leave my testimony about our times with the hope that this story will still be useful... The dotted line of events that I have marked is a space for understanding the roads we have traveled..."